alexis on the sexes; Pubic opinion; Is there a grooming double standard for men and women?(VITA.MN)

Byline: Alexis McKinnis

Q: What's the standard for dealing (or not dealing) with pubic hair for men and women? Is there a double standard? Do guys really expect women to wax when they go au naturel, or is trimming considered acceptable across the board? Please don't spare me the hairy details.

A: Ten years ago, the mere idea of walking into a local salon, stripping naked from the waist down and having a stranger puppeteer your legs around in order to expose and remove all the hair from your genitals would've made most of us squirm. Wax jobs were for strippers, and even on them it looked weird.

Enter the advent of Internet porn, and all of a sudden our pubes are disappearing, inch by inch. While women have rejected the idea that coming to bed sporting huge fake boobs, collagen lips and five-inch heels is the norm, we somehow got duped into going along with the whole prepubescent-looking pudenda thing. And, much to the delight of estheticians everywhere, we're now reporting dutifully to their establishments every six weeks for a waxing.

I hear you about a double standard, but now even men are getting next-to-bare waxes -- or at least using their beard trimmers in new and interesting ways -- so does that double standard still exist? Are men more into compromising now that pube grooming has crept into the post-shower regimens of both sexes?

I'd like to hear what readers have to say on this one. Join the discussion in the "muff" tag on www.vita.mn, or send your thoughts in an e-mail or through my blog. I might include your comments in a future column.

Q: I have decided that I'm finally ready to take the plunge and get a Brazilian wax. However, it appears as though I am the only one among my group of friends who is interested in this strange form of torture. Therefore, I am having a terrible time deciding on where to go to get one. I am reluctant to just go to any ol' salon. Have any recommendations? Particularly for the east metro if you have any.

KATIE, 36

A: I am much more familiar with such services on the west side of the river, but I consulted two girlfriends who live in St. Paul and have had Brazilian waxing done. One of them gets it done in Minneapolis. The other goes to various salons -- bless her for not caring who rips the hair from her labia -- but one place she mentioned was Accolades Salon and Spa on Randolph Avenue in St. Paul (www.accoladessalonspa.com). Both Accolades and Estetica Salon on Western Avenue in St. Paul (www.esteticastpaul.com) collect some pretty high marks on city-guide sites. My B.S. radar tends to go off when I read 15 five-star reviews in a row on those sites, but they can't all be from salon shills.

For Minneapolis ladies looking to shed 90 percent of their girly fur, I can recommend with assurance both H Design Salon (hdesignsalon.lbu.com) and Wave Salon (www.wave salon.net) in Uptown, as well as the Refinery (www.therefineryonline.com) in Dinkytown. The Boyzilian wax is slightly harder to come by -- most estheticians are female, some dudes are too excitable, you get the idea -- but I know the Beauty Room on E. Lake Street does them (www.the beautyroommpls.com).

PUBE POLICE

How much should women and men groom their privates? Send your view -- or submit your own question about dating, relationships and sex -- to advice@vita.mn, or post it discreetly at www.vita.mn/alexis.